Recently, I've been reading through Mark and something struck me in chapters 6 & 8. In Chapter 6, Jesus had compassion on the multitude and asked His disciples to give them something to eat. His disciples responded almost sarcastically asking Jesus where were they going to get this food to feed these many people? Jesus asked, "How many loaves do you have?" And the disciples answered, "5 loaves, and 2 fish." It's interesting how the disciples didn't answer Jesus' specific question. Makes me think the added "2 fish" is a way the disciples were saying, "5 loaves, and oh Jesus, here's even 2 fish. What can you do with this?" But Jesus did the impossible and He fed 5,000 people simply with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. And in chapter 8, Jesus again fed a multitude of 4,000 people with 5 loaves of bread. Everytime I read about Jesus feeding the 5,000, I focus on what Jesus did, which shouldn't be glazed over at all.
But, what struck me were the disciples. They were with Jesus when He fed 5,000 people only with 5 loaves and 2 fish. They experienced this miracle. They saw the impossible become the possible.
And yet when it came to the second time in feeding the multitude, the disciples asked Jesus again where they were going to get such a surplus of food. They didn't understand. They forgot what had happened previously. They never learned. They didn't know who Jesus was. If the disciples knew who Jesus was and remembered what He did, then I believe the disciples would have responded differently in feeding the 4,000. "Jesus, we looked around and we only found 5 loaves of bread. Surely you can use this and do what you did last time with the 5,000 right?"
I don't know why the disciples didn't understand the first time what Jesus could do. But I know reading about this incident reminds me of who I believe Jesus claims to be and what He can do in my life. And I'm humbled because I don't think I'm too far off from the disciples. If I really knew Jesus and what He's capable of doing, then I believe some areas in my life would be drastically different. For example, my prayer life. Am I praying for "elephants" - the big things that require faith? Or am I praying for "peanuts" - the small things that require no faith? I believe prayer is a reflection of my perspective on God. I some times wonder why I don't pray for big things as often. Could it be that I don't fully know who God claims to be?
Yet I'm so glad Jesus was so patient and gracious to His disciples as they tried to figure Him out and His Kingdom. He stuck with them and never gave up cause He believed in them. Now that gives me hope; He'll never give up on me as I'm trying to learn about Him, His ways, and His Kingdom.
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